Are you resisting the things in your life that you simply can’t change? And is this resistance a sign of codependency?
The emotions that we stuff deep inside are by definition the emotions that we aren’t allowing ourselves to feel. And trying to control what we feel is rooted deeply in fear and feeling threatened.
World renowned author, spiritual guide, and mental health advocate Deepak Chopra has written the following quiz to help you get a sense of how much you are trying to control your emotional state in what may be an unhealthy way. It only takes about five minutes to do this.
What does this have to do with The Virtual EMDR Eye Movement Therapy Program? Nothing directly, but this quiz can give important clues about how we are feeling about ourselves, the overall state of our mental health, and how well we are dealing with our relationships with other people. In fact, a high score may indicate that we are in need of some EMDR sessions, one-to-one talk therapy, or even the support of a treatment group.
Let’s get started. Take a scrap of paper and give yourself a point for each statement that applies to you frequently, most of the time, or almost always. Some of the statements may not seem very flattering, but try to be completely honest.
WHAT YOUR SCORE MEANS-
Your personality isn't dominated by an excessive need to be in control. You are likely to be comfortable with your feelings and tolerant of other people. You realize that you are imperfect, therefore you understand the failings of others. It is easy for you to let events take their own course, and surprises don't throw you off balance. You probably place a high value on spontaneity and the expression of emotions.
Being in control is a frequent issue with you. You have more fears and hurt feelings than you let on, but you don't work hard to resolve these feelings. Being in charge isn't necessarily that important to you, but having your way usually is. You consider yourself organized and efficient, yet it isn't a major event if things get a little out of control. You have found someone whom you can be honest and open with, but there are limits to how much you can safely say or do, even with that person.
Over 20 points
You are a controlling person. You feel that control is necessary because people hurt your feelings a lot, and your memory of this goes back into your painful childhood. To keep from being hurt more, you try to control your feelings, which basically means you are very selective about revealing yourself to others. Your overriding need to be in charge or to have things your way drives people away from you, despite the fact that you work very hard to take care of their needs. The only emotion you show easily is anger or irritability. You constantly explain your motives and give reasons for why you are the way you are, but somehow this doesn't help you get you what you want, which is other people's love and affection.
Adapted from the book Ageless Body, Timeless Mind, by Deepak Chopra, M.D.