Why Do Some People Cry During EMDR?

Why Do Some People Cry During EMDR?

Short Answer: Some people cry during EMDR, and it is generally considered a normal response when it happens. Many people never cry at all. Neither response means anything is wrong.

Key Takeaways

• Some people cry during EMDR, while many others do not.
• Crying can be a normal response, but it isn't required for a meaningful session.
• Not crying doesn't mean the session was less effective.

What This Looks Like

Crying during EMDR can range from a few tears to a stronger wave of emotion, depending on the memory and how it feels to you in that moment.

Some people notice it happens while focusing on a particular memory or emotion. Others don't cry during a session at all, even when working through something meaningful.

Why It Happens

EMDR involves focusing on a memory while engaging in bilateral stimulation, such as guided eye movements.

Researchers don't have a complete explanation for why some people cry during EMDR and others don't. It may simply be one of the ways some people respond while focusing on emotional memories.

Why Might a Memory Bring Up Tears During EMDR?

EMDR asks you to focus on memories, thoughts, emotions, or other aspects of an experience while using bilateral stimulation.

Some of the material you focus on may carry emotion for you, and crying can sometimes occur while that material is in your attention.

That does not mean there is a specific type of memory that should make you cry. Two people can focus on similar experiences and respond very differently. Even the same person may respond differently to different memories.

Researchers have not established one specific reason why someone may cry during EMDR.

Tears can happen while focusing on emotional material, but the presence of tears alone does not explain what is happening in the session.

Do You Have to Feel Strong Emotions During EMDR?

No. EMDR does not require you to experience an intense emotional reaction during a session.

Some sessions may involve noticeable emotions, while others may feel relatively quiet. You might notice thoughts, memories, physical sensations, changes in attention, or very little that seems dramatic from moment to moment.

This matters because people can sometimes expect EMDR to look emotionally intense.

Crying is one possible response, but it should not be treated as the standard against which a session is measured.

What If You Expected to Cry but Didn't?

Not crying does not mean you did EMDR incorrectly.

You may focus on something important without crying at all. There is also no need to try to make yourself cry or search for a stronger emotional response because you think that is what is supposed to happen.

How visibly emotional a session appears is not a reliable way to judge its value.

A session does not have to involve a dramatic emotional response simply because the material you are focusing on is important to you.

Does Crying Mean You Reached the “Right” Memory?

No. Tears do not confirm that you have found a particular memory you need to work on.

During EMDR, different memories, thoughts, emotions, images, or sensations may come into your attention. Some may bring up tears and others may not.

The presence or absence of crying does not establish which material is more important.

For the same reason, you do not need to keep searching for something more upsetting simply because the material you are focusing on does not make you cry.

Does Crying Mean Something Went Right or Wrong?

Neither, on its own. Crying isn't a required sign that a session is working, and not crying doesn't mean it isn't.

Some people may cry during a session, while others may not. Crying by itself does not tell you whether a session was more or less effective.

It's simply one of several ways people respond.

Does More Crying Mean More Processing?

There is no reason to measure an EMDR session by the amount of crying that occurs.

A few tears are not necessarily less meaningful than prolonged crying, and prolonged crying does not automatically mean that more processing is taking place.

The intensity of an outward response and the value of a session are not the same thing.

Trying to evaluate a session according to how much you cried can also create an unnecessary expectation about what future sessions should look like.

Your response can vary without one response being better than another.

Can You Cry During One EMDR Session but Not Another?

Yes. Your response does not have to be consistent from session to session.

You might cry while focusing on one memory and not while focusing on another. You might also return to material you have worked with before and respond differently on another occasion.

There is no requirement that your emotional response follow a predictable pattern.

The fact that one session involved tears does not mean future sessions should, and a session without tears does not represent a step backward.

What If You Start Crying Unexpectedly?

Crying may sometimes begin even when you were not expecting a strong emotional response.

If that happens, you do not need to immediately decide what the tears mean. You may know what brought them up, or the reason may not feel obvious in the moment.

You can simply notice what is happening and decide whether you want to continue, pause for a moment, or stop the session.

There is no requirement to continue simply because an emotional response has started.

What to Do If You Cry During a Session

You don't need to do anything special. A few things that can help:

• Let yourself pause and take a moment if you need to.
• Keep tissues nearby if that helps you feel prepared.
• Continue when you feel ready, or stop for the day if you'd rather.

If you want to pause after you start crying, you can take a break and decide whether you want to continue the session or return to it another day.

Should You Try to Stop Yourself From Crying During EMDR?

You do not need to make stopping the tears a goal simply because they occur.

At the same time, you also do not need to push yourself to remain with an emotional response because you think crying is part of what makes EMDR work.

Neither continuing to cry nor stopping yourself from crying is a measure of whether you are doing the session correctly.

What matters more is being able to make choices about the session rather than treating the tears themselves as an instruction about what you should do next.

Should You Analyze Why You Cried?

You may have an obvious explanation for why you cried, but you do not necessarily need one.

Sometimes a particular memory or thought may clearly be connected with the emotional response. At other times, you may not be able to identify exactly why tears appeared at that moment.

There is no need to force an interpretation.

Crying by itself does not tell you that a particular psychological event has occurred, that something has been “released,” or that a specific memory has been resolved.

Can Crying Continue After an EMDR Session?

Some people may notice emotions continuing after an EMDR session, while others may not.

There is no single response everyone should expect afterward.

Is Crying a Sign That EMDR Is Working?

Crying alone cannot tell you whether EMDR is working.

It is an emotional response, not a measure of treatment effectiveness. Using tears as evidence that a session “worked” would also imply that sessions without tears were less successful, which is not something we can conclude.

A better approach is not to use any single reaction during a session as a scorecard.

EMDR does not need to produce a particular visible response each time.

Can Crying Happen With Different Emotions?

Yes. Tears are not limited to one particular emotion.

A person may cry while feeling sadness, frustration, relief, anger, tenderness, or a mixture of feelings, and another person may experience those same emotions without crying.

Emotional responses can also occur while working with experiences involving grief or anxiety, although neither response means that crying has to occur.

That is another reason not to treat tears as a precise explanation of what is happening in a session.

The fact that you cried does not necessarily tell you which emotion was most important or what the response means.

If the emotion feels clear to you, you can notice it as part of the session. If it does not feel clear, there is no requirement to label it simply because tears appeared.

Can Tears Start and Stop During the Same Session?

Yes. Crying may be brief, may come and go, or may not happen at all. An emotional response does not have to continue for the rest of the session once it begins.

If tears stop, that does not mean anything has gone wrong with the session. If they return later, that also does not mean you have moved backward.

Emotional responses can change while your attention moves between memories, thoughts, feelings, images, and sensations.

There is no need to maintain the same emotional state throughout a session. You can simply notice what is present at each point without trying to reproduce an earlier response.

Conclusion

Some people cry during EMDR, while many others do not. Crying is one possible emotional response, but it is not required and should not be used as a measure of how well a session went.

Not crying does not mean that you did anything wrong or that the session was less effective.