Learning to be safe with myself
30 Jun 2017
Tags: Addiction , Desensitization , Stress
I have been using EMDR to help with growing up with a shaming and abandoning parent. I internalize and do it to myself, which I've been "working" on for 25 years.
I began recovery years back, seeing a lot of parent blaming...and it never stuck with me.
My mom, my only parent, was not around. I was abusing, scaring, and abandoning myself daily. It was all I knew.
I have used traditional EMDR therapy. I have had a half dozen counsellors and therapists in my adult life, but ended up either abandoning the therapist, or not staying due to lack of finances.
Virtual EMDR allows me the CHOICE of using it. Nothing forced. I can if I want, I won't if I'm unable or unwilling.
Being responsible for my own decisions, something not taught by my parent, is gold to me.
It's priceless. I am grateful I have this choice today.
During the first session of Virtual EMDR, it felt like my gut was holding on for dear life. Yesterday morning, after I'd done my few days of facing fears (my noticeable targets),
Something in me changed.
While doing Virtual EMDR, that false self fell aside. I felt vulnerable but safe.
I was looking through my own eyes, seeing and feeling...without my guard up. I was seeing and feeling a "me" I'd tucked away a long time ago. I felt relaxed, peaceful, and unafraid.
I'd not seen this coming. Virtual EMDR works!
Having the opportunity to do it alone at home has been a wonderful gift.
I'd been hiding behind my false self in front of therapists numerous times, but little change ever happened, since I was in "survival mode".
Virtual EMDR is helping me to dismantle my false self.
I'm learning to be comfortable and safe with myself.
Having had small successes with traditional EMDR therapists, plus knowing it is a proven tool, I tried Virtual EMDR.
It has been less than a week I've used it. Already Virtual EMDR is changing my life!
Thank you for offering this!
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