Can EMDR Bring Up a Memory You Thought Was Unrelated?

Can EMDR Bring Up a Memory You Thought Was Unrelated?

Short Answer: Yes. During Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), a memory that initially seems unrelated to the experience you are working on may sometimes come to mind. Memories can be associated through similar emotions, beliefs, sensations, or experiences, even when the events happened at different times or involved different people. Sometimes the connection becomes clearer as you continue processing. At other times, you may not recognize any meaningful connection at all. You do not need to figure out why the memory appeared, assume that it has a hidden meaning, or change your original focus simply because another memory came to mind.

Key Takeaways

• EMDR may bring another memory to mind even when it initially seems unrelated to your original target.
• Memories can share emotional or personal connections that are not immediately obvious.
• An unexpected memory does not necessarily have a deeper meaning or prove that two events are connected.
• You do not need to analyze every memory or find an explanation for why it appeared.
• You can continue with the new memory, return to your original focus, or save it for another session.
• New memories are not required for EMDR to be effective, and their appearance does not automatically indicate progress.

Why Might an Unrelated Memory Come Up During EMDR?

During EMDR, you begin by focusing on a particular memory, thought, feeling, or experience.

This starting point is often called the target.

For example, you might choose a memory of an uncomfortable conversation with a coworker.

As you focus on the experience while using bilateral stimulation, such as guided eye movements, alternating sounds, or tapping, other thoughts and memories may come to mind.

You might suddenly remember something that happened at school many years earlier.

At first, the two experiences may seem completely different.

One involved a coworker, while the other involved a teacher.

However, both memories might involve feeling embarrassed, criticized, or misunderstood.

The events do not need to involve the same people or circumstances to share a similar emotional theme.

Sometimes these connections become noticeable during EMDR.

In other situations, a different memory may simply come to mind without any clear relationship to the original target.

Neither experience requires an immediate explanation.

How Can Two Different Memories Be Connected?

Memories are not always experienced as completely separate events.

A particular emotion, thought, sensation, or situation can remind you of another experience.

For example, a memory of being criticized at work might bring up an earlier experience of being corrected in front of classmates.

The situations are different, but they may share a similar feeling.

Connections can involve several aspects of an experience.

Similar Emotions

Two memories may involve the same emotion even when the events themselves are different.

For example, remembering a disappointing job interview might remind you of a time when you were excluded from a school activity.

The common element could be disappointment or a feeling of not being accepted.

Similar Beliefs

Different experiences may also be connected through beliefs about yourself.

For example, a memory of making a mistake at work might bring up the thought:

"I'm not good enough."

That belief could remind you of an earlier experience when you felt similarly inadequate.

You may begin to recognize that the same belief has appeared in different situations.

Similar Physical Sensations

Sometimes a physical sensation may be part of the connection.

For example, remembering a stressful conversation might bring a feeling of tightness in your stomach.

That sensation may remind you of another experience when you felt similarly uncomfortable.

Shared Details or Situations

A person, place, sound, or other detail may also remind you of something from the past.

For example, a particular tone of voice might remind you of someone you knew years earlier.

The connection may be simple rather than emotionally significant.

You do not need to decide that every association has a special meaning.

What If You Cannot See Any Connection Between the Memories?

You do not need to find one.

Sometimes a memory appears without an obvious relationship to what you were originally working on.

For example, you might begin an EMDR session focused on a difficult relationship.

During processing, you unexpectedly remember a family vacation from childhood.

You may wonder why that experience came to mind.

Perhaps the memories share a person, feeling, or detail that is not immediately obvious.

Alternatively, the vacation memory may simply have appeared as your attention moved between different thoughts.

There is no requirement to identify a connection.

You can acknowledge that the memory appeared without trying to explain it.

If it feels relevant to your current experience, you may continue noticing it.

If it does not, you can return to your original target.

Does an Unexpected Memory Mean It Has a Hidden Meaning?

Not necessarily.

It can be tempting to assume that a memory appearing during EMDR must be important.

For example, if a childhood memory comes to mind while you are working with an adult experience, you might wonder whether the earlier event explains everything about your current reaction.

However, the appearance of one memory does not establish that it caused another experience or created a particular belief.

Two events may share a similar emotional theme without one being the cause of the other.

Likewise, a memory may come to mind for an ordinary reason, such as a familiar detail or association.

You do not need to search for a hidden explanation.

EMDR is intended to help you work with distressing memories and the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs connected to them.

It is not a method for proving that every memory has a deeper meaning.

Can an Unrelated Memory Become More Relevant as Processing Continues?

Sometimes.

A memory that initially seems unrelated may begin to make more sense as you notice additional thoughts or feelings.

For example, imagine working with a memory of being criticized during a meeting.

You unexpectedly remember a childhood sports competition.

At first, the connection may be unclear.

As you continue, you might recognize that both experiences involved feeling pressure to perform perfectly.

You may then notice a belief such as:

"I cannot make mistakes."

The connection between the memories may become more understandable.

However, this does not mean that the childhood experience necessarily caused the belief or your response to the workplace meeting.

It simply gives you another way to understand what came to mind.

In some sessions, the relationship between memories becomes clearer.

In others, no meaningful connection emerges.

Both are possible.

What Is the Difference Between an Associated Memory and a Distraction?

Sometimes another memory appears because it is associated with your original focus.

At other times, your attention may simply wander.

For example, you might begin working with a memory of an argument and then remember another conversation involving a similar feeling.

That may be an association worth noticing.

Alternatively, you might suddenly remember that you need to buy groceries.

That thought may be an ordinary distraction rather than something related to the memory.

You do not need to spend much time deciding which category every thought belongs to.

If something seems relevant, you can notice it.

If you recognize that your attention has simply moved to an unrelated everyday task, you can return to your original focus.

EMDR does not require every thought that appears to become part of the processing.

Should You Follow the New Memory or Return to the Original One?

Either may be reasonable, depending on what you are noticing.

Your original target gives the session a starting point, but it does not necessarily have to remain the only focus.

If another memory comes to mind and seems relevant, you may choose to continue with it.

For example, you might begin with a recent argument and then remember an earlier experience involving a similar feeling.

You may decide that the earlier memory is what you want to focus on next.

However, you are not required to change targets.

You may prefer to continue working with the original argument.

You can also make a brief note of the new memory and return to it during a later session.

A practical approach is to consider what currently stands out without assuming that every new memory needs immediate attention.

Do You Have to Work Through Every Memory That Appears?

No.

Sometimes several memories or thoughts may come to mind during one EMDR session.

For example, you might begin with a difficult experience at work and then remember situations involving a friend, a teacher, and a family member.

You may recognize a shared feeling across the experiences.

That does not mean you must process all of them during the same session.

You can continue with the memory that feels most relevant to your current focus.

You may also decide to leave another experience for a future session.

There is no requirement to explore every association as soon as it appears.

The purpose is to work with the experiences that matter to you rather than turn every memory into a separate task.

Is an Unexpected Memory the Same as a Forgotten Memory?

Not necessarily.

An unexpected memory may be something you remember clearly but had not anticipated thinking about during the session.

For example, you might remember a particular holiday from childhood even though you have thought about it many times before.

What is unexpected is that the memory appeared while you were focusing on a different experience.

A forgotten or long-unconsidered memory is different.

You may not have thought about that event for many years.

Either type of memory can come to mind during EMDR.

However, EMDR should not be understood as a method for uncovering hidden or previously inaccessible events.

The appearance of a memory does not establish that every detail is historically accurate.

You can work with what you remember without trying to recover missing information or prove why a particular event came to mind.

Does an Unrelated Memory Coming Up Mean EMDR Is Working?

Not necessarily.

A new memory appearing can be part of what you notice during EMDR processing, but it is not a reliable measure of progress on its own.

Some sessions may involve several different memories and associations.

Other sessions may remain focused on one experience.

Neither pattern automatically determines whether the session has been helpful.

Progress may be more noticeable through changes in how you experience the original memory.

For example, you might find that:

• The memory feels less emotionally upsetting.
• A negative belief seems less convincing.
• You can think about the experience from a different perspective.
• A physical sensation associated with the memory has changed.
• You respond differently when remembering the event.

These changes may happen whether or not additional memories appear.

You do not need to remember something unexpected for EMDR to be meaningful.

What Should You Do When an Unexpected Memory Appears?

When another memory comes to mind during EMDR, you can begin by simply noticing it.

You do not need to interpret it or decide immediately why it appeared.

Between sets of bilateral stimulation, you may choose to:

• Continue with the new memory: If it seems relevant to what you are experiencing, you can notice it as your focus.
• Return to the original target: If you would rather stay with the memory you selected, you can bring it back to mind.
• Notice a shared feeling or belief: If a connection seems clear, you can acknowledge it without needing a detailed explanation.
• Make a brief note: If you want to remember the new association, you can save it for another session.
• Pause before continuing: You can take a moment to decide what feels most useful.

You do not need to restart the entire session simply because another memory appeared.

The goal is to notice what is currently present and continue at a pace that works for you.

What About Unexpected Memories During Self-Guided EMDR?

Unexpected memories may also come to mind when using a structured self-guided online EMDR program.

Virtual EMDR is a specific online program that allows users to work through EMDR sessions independently and manage their own pacing.

If an apparently unrelated memory comes to mind, you can pause between stimulation sets and notice what has appeared.

For example, you might begin with a memory of feeling embarrassed at work and unexpectedly remember a school experience.

You can decide whether to remain with that memory, return to your original focus, or make a note of it for another session.

You do not need to explain why it appeared or assume that it is more important than your original target.

The same general principle applies to therapist-guided and self-guided EMDR: notice what comes to mind without trying to force a particular connection or interpretation.

Can an Unexpected Memory Come to Mind After the Session?

Yes. Sometimes a related memory or thought may become noticeable after an EMDR session has ended.

For example, you might remember an experience from school while going about your day and recognize that it involves a feeling similar to the one you worked with earlier.

You may find the connection meaningful.

Or you may simply notice the memory without understanding why it appeared.

You do not need to begin another EMDR session immediately because a different memory came to mind.

If you want to explore it later, you can make a brief note.

You can also leave it alone.

There is no need to spend time searching for additional memories or trying to connect every past event.

Conclusion

EMDR can sometimes bring up a memory that initially seems unrelated to the experience you are working on.

Different memories may share emotions, beliefs, sensations, or details that are not immediately obvious.

Sometimes a connection becomes clearer as processing continues. At other times, a memory may simply appear without any recognizable relationship to the original target.

You do not need to assume that every unexpected memory has a hidden meaning or that one event caused another.

You can notice what comes to mind, continue with the new memory if it seems relevant, return to your original focus, or save it for another session.

Whether you are using therapist-guided or self-guided EMDR, the important thing is to work with your current experience rather than trying to make every memory fit into a particular explanation.