Can EMDR Make Things Worse Before They Get Better?

Can EMDR Make Things Worse Before They Get Better?

Short Answer: No. EMDR does not require things to get worse before they get better. Some people notice temporary emotion or discomfort when they focus on a difficult memory or concern, while others feel calm, neutral, relieved, or notice very little change. There is no required reaction. Feeling more emotional does not prove that EMDR is working, and having a fairly uneventful session does not mean it was ineffective.

Key Takeaways

• EMDR does not require things to feel worse before they improve.
• Some people notice temporary emotion or discomfort when focusing on a difficult topic, while many do not.
• Feeling more emotional is not evidence that EMDR is working, and feeling little change does not mean it is not.
• One session can feel very different from another, even for the same person.

What Might You Notice During or After EMDR?

EMDR involves briefly focusing on a memory, thought, feeling, body sensation, or other concern while following a structured process that includes bilateral stimulation. Because the topic itself may matter to you, you may notice thoughts or feelings shift while you are working with it.

That does not mean every session becomes emotional. Some people notice a memory feels less vivid, a thought changes, or a new connection comes to mind. Others feel calmer, feel about the same, or simply notice that their attention moves from one thing to another. You may also have a session where very little seems to happen.

When the topic is difficult, an uncomfortable thought or feeling can sometimes come up. If that happens, it does not mean the session has gone wrong. It also does not mean you need to keep pushing until the feeling becomes stronger. There is no particular emotional intensity you are supposed to reach.

Does EMDR Have to Feel Worse Before It Feels Better?

No. The idea that you must feel worse before you can improve is not a requirement of EMDR. There is no standard pattern where a session has to become painful, intense, or upsetting before anything useful can happen.

People sometimes use the phrase “worse before better” because paying attention to a difficult memory can briefly make that memory or the feelings connected with it more noticeable. But noticing something uncomfortable for a few moments is different from saying that EMDR must make your overall condition worse before it can help.

One person may feel emotional during part of a session and settled afterward. Another may feel calm throughout. Someone else may not notice an obvious change until later, or may simply have a quiet session. None of these experiences is automatically more correct or more meaningful than the others.

Why Can a Difficult Topic Feel More Noticeable for a Short Time?

If you deliberately bring a difficult memory or concern to mind, it may naturally feel more noticeable while you are focusing on it. The same thing can happen outside EMDR: thinking carefully about an upsetting conversation, loss, fear, or stressful event can briefly bring the associated emotion closer to the surface.

In an EMDR session, that attention is intentional and structured. You are not trying to make the memory more upsetting. You are noticing what comes up while moving through the process. For some people, this includes a short period of sadness, nervousness, frustration, or another emotion. For others, it does not.

It is important not to turn this possibility into an expectation. If you begin a session believing that you are supposed to feel worse, you may start judging an ordinary or calm session as unsuccessful. EMDR does not require you to feel distressed in order for the session to be worthwhile.

What Does “Feeling Worse” Actually Mean?

The phrase can mean very different things, which is one reason it can be misleading. Someone may use “worse” to mean that a memory felt more emotional for a few minutes. Another person may mean they felt a little unsettled after thinking about a difficult subject. Someone else may simply mean they were disappointed because the session did not feel the way they expected.

Those experiences are not the same thing. A temporary feeling that appears while you are focusing on a difficult topic should not automatically be described as EMDR making you worse. It may simply be part of what you noticed in that moment.

For the same reason, ordinary emotional reactions during or after EMDR should not automatically be interpreted as something unusually serious. Most people do not need to expect a dramatic reaction after every session. A more accurate expectation is that responses vary, and many sessions are fairly manageable.

Does Feeling More Emotional Mean EMDR Is Working?

No. Emotional intensity is not a scorecard for an EMDR session. Crying, feeling upset, becoming tired, or noticing a strong reaction does not automatically mean that more progress was made.

The opposite is also true. If you finish a session feeling calm, neutral, or not especially different, that does not mean anything went wrong. Some changes can be subtle, and some sessions may simply feel quieter than others.

This is especially useful to remember when deciding how to approach your next session. You do not need to chase a stronger reaction or choose the most difficult possible topic in order to make a session feel important.

What If You Feel Uncomfortable During a Session?

If a topic becomes more uncomfortable than you want to continue with, you can pause or take a break. You do not need to keep going simply because you started working with a particular memory or concern.

Stopping does not mean you failed, and continuing is not automatically better. The goal is not to prove that you can tolerate as much discomfort as possible. It is to move through the process at a pace that feels manageable for you.

You may find that a shorter session, a less difficult starting topic, or simply returning to the topic another day works better for you. There is no requirement for every session to follow the same pattern.

What If You Feel Different After the Session?

Some people continue thinking about the topic after a session, while others move on with their day and notice very little. You might feel thoughtful, calm, mildly emotional, tired, relieved, or simply normal. There is no single after-session reaction you need to have.

If you do notice some temporary emotion, you can give it a little time rather than immediately deciding that something has gone wrong. One session does not have to produce an instant or obvious result, and your reaction immediately afterward is not a reliable measure of whether the session was useful.

Likewise, if you repeatedly notice that a particular session length, topic, or time of day feels less comfortable for you, you can adjust it. Making practical adjustments like these does not mean that something is wrong with the EMDR process.

Can One EMDR Session Feel Different from Another?

Yes. Even the same person can have very different experiences from session to session. One session might bring up several thoughts or memories. Another might feel quiet. A session focused on one topic may feel more emotional than a session focused on something else.

Your starting point can also be different each time. You may begin one session already feeling stressed or tired and another feeling relaxed and focused. The topic you choose, how strongly it affects you that day, and how long you spend with it can all shape what you notice.

Because of this variation, it is usually more helpful to think of EMDR as a process rather than expecting every session to produce the same feeling or sequence of events.

What If Nothing Seems to Happen?

That can happen too. You may complete a session without a dramatic emotional shift, new memory, or obvious sense of change. There is no need to manufacture a reaction just because you expected something noticeable.

A quiet session can still be a meaningful part of the process. You followed the process and noticed what was there. If you want to continue later, you can. If you want to work on a different concern next time, you can do that as well.

Avoid comparing your experience with stories from other people who describe very emotional sessions. Their experience does not determine what yours is supposed to look like.

Give Yourself Room to Find the Pace That Works for You

There is no requirement to move through EMDR as quickly as possible. Sessions can feel different from one another, and it can be useful to pay attention to your own experience rather than assuming you need to follow a particular emotional pattern.

If a session brings up more emotion than you expected, that does not mean the next session needs to happen immediately. Likewise, if you feel comfortable afterward, you do not need to increase the frequency or intensity of your sessions in an effort to make faster progress.

The same applies during a session. Working with a difficult memory may naturally bring up some emotion, but you do not need to force yourself to feel more distressed or push for a stronger reaction. More discomfort does not necessarily mean more progress.

The goal is not to make EMDR feel difficult. It is to work through the process at a pace that feels manageable for you. Some sessions may feel more emotional than others, while some may feel relatively uneventful. Neither experience determines by itself whether the session was worthwhile.

Conclusion

EMDR does not require things to get worse before they get better. Some people notice temporary emotion or discomfort when they focus on a difficult topic, while many have calmer or less noticeable reactions. There are no required level of distress and no particular feeling that proves a session is working.

Rather than expecting every session to feel intense, it is more useful to pay attention to your own experience and remember that one session may feel very different from the next. You do not need to force a stronger emotional reaction or push yourself simply because you think EMDR is supposed to feel difficult. Progress does not require feeling worse first.