How Can You Explain Your Concerns Before an EMDR Session?

How Can You Explain Your Concerns Before an EMDR Session?

Short Answer: You do not need a perfect explanation before an Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) session. It is enough to say what you are unsure about, what part of the process concerns you, or what you need more information about. You might say that you are nervous about a particular target, unsure whether you feel ready to process, concerned about staying present, uncomfortable with a type of bilateral stimulation, or simply want to go more slowly. Open communication is part of EMDR preparation, and you can ask questions, express preferences, and let the therapist know when something about the process does not feel workable.

Key Takeaways

• You do not need to explain your concerns in clinical language.
• A simple statement such as “I am nervous about starting this target” can be enough.
• You can talk about concerns related to pacing, readiness, staying present, bilateral stimulation, or what might come up during processing.
• You can say that you want more preparation or explanation before beginning.
• You can ask to pause, slow down, or choose a different target.
• Not knowing exactly why something feels uncomfortable does not prevent you from bringing it up.
• With self-guided EMDR, you can use the same kind of check-in with yourself before deciding whether to begin or continue a session.

Why Is It Helpful to Explain Your Concerns?

EMDR is structured, but it is also collaborative.

Before active reprocessing begins, EMDR includes history-taking, preparation, and assessment. These phases create time to understand what you are working on, how the process will work, and whether anything about it needs clarification or adjustment.

EMDR clinicians specifically encourage clients to ask questions about readiness, preparation, pacing, stopping, target selection, and what to expect during processing.

You do not need to wait until a concern becomes a major obstacle.

Even a small hesitation can be worth mentioning.

You Can Start With a Very Simple Sentence

You do not need a long explanation.

You might say:

“I am nervous about starting today.”

or:

“I am not sure I feel ready for this target.”

or:

“I understand the process, but I am still worried about what might come up.”

or:

“I think I need to go more slowly.”

Those statements already provide useful information.

The conversation can develop from there.

What If You Do Not Know Exactly What Is Bothering You?

You can say that too.

For example:

“Something about starting this feels uncomfortable, but I am not sure why.”

You do not have to identify the exact emotion, belief, or reason before bringing it up.

Part of preparation can involve figuring out what the concern actually is.

It might turn out to involve:

• The target itself
• Uncertainty about the process
• The pace
• A type of bilateral stimulation
• Worry about staying present
• Not knowing what you are supposed to do
• Simply not wanting to begin yet

You can work from whatever you already know.

How Can You Explain That You Are Nervous About the Target?

Try describing the specific part that feels difficult.

For example:

“I can think about the memory, but I am worried about focusing on it for too long.”

or:

“I want to work on this, but I do not want to start with the hardest part.”

or:

“This memory feels more intense today than I expected.”

This gives useful information without requiring you to recount the entire memory.

EMDR target selection can be individualized, and clients can participate in deciding what material to address and when.

If the target involves anger, you can explain which part of the memory feels difficult to approach today.

What If You Are Unsure Whether You Feel Ready?

Say so directly.

You might say:

“I am not sure whether I am ready to start processing yet.”

A useful follow-up question is:

“What signs are we looking for to decide whether I am ready?”

EMDR clinicians commonly describe readiness in terms of practical abilities such as staying sufficiently connected to the present, using regulation strategies, understanding the process, and being able to communicate when you need to pause.

Readiness does not mean feeling completely calm.

How Can You Explain That You Need More Preparation?

You can be specific or general.

For example:

“I think I need more practice with grounding first.”

“Can we spend more time on what I should do if I get overwhelmed?”

“I would like to understand the processing phase better before we begin.”

“I want to practice stopping and returning to the present before we start.”

Preparation is a formal part of EMDR, not something separate from the treatment. EMDR clinicians commonly describe grounding, present-moment orientation, and regulation strategies as part of that preparation.

What If You Are Concerned About Staying Present?

You do not need specialized terminology.

You can simply describe what happens.

For example:

“Sometimes when I think about this memory, I stop noticing what is happening around me.”

or:

“I sometimes feel very far away when I talk about this.”

or:

“I am worried that I will lose track of the room.”

That is useful information because EMDR reprocessing generally involves maintaining awareness of the present while also connecting with distressing material.

EMDR guidance describes the ability to remain oriented to the present as an important consideration when deciding how and when to begin processing.

What If You Are Worried About Becoming Emotional?

You can simply say:

“I am worried I might get very emotional.”

You do not need to apologize for that concern.

You can then ask:

• What happens if I need a pause?
• How will we know when to slow down?
• What grounding strategies can I use?
• Can we stop before the target is finished?

EMDR clinicians specifically recommend discussing how pacing, grounding, and stopping will work before reprocessing begins.

What If You Are Concerned About Losing Control?

A useful way to explain this is:

“I want to know what control I still have once processing starts.”

Then ask practical questions.

For example:

• Can I stop a set?
• Can I pause the session?
• Can I decide not to continue with a target?
• Can we change the pace?
• Can I ask for a different form of bilateral stimulation?

EMDRIA clinicians repeatedly emphasize that clients should know they can participate in decisions about pacing, targets, and when to stop or pause.

How Can You Explain Concerns About Bilateral Stimulation?

You can describe the experience rather than judging it.

For example:

“The eye movements make it harder for me to focus.”

“The sounds feel distracting.”

“I would like to try another method.”

“Can we slow the stimulation down?”

EMDR may use visual, auditory, or tactile bilateral stimulation, and there can be flexibility in how it is delivered.

It is reasonable to express a preference if one method feels more workable than another.

What If You Are Worried You Will “Do EMDR Wrong”?

Say exactly that.

“I am worried I will not know what I am supposed to notice.”

or:

“I keep wondering whether I am giving the right answers.”

This is a common concern.

EMDR clinicians specifically identify worries about “doing EMDR right” as something worth discussing, because there is no single correct way to experience reprocessing.

You may notice:

• A thought
• An image
• An emotion
• A body sensation
• Another memory
• Very little change

The useful response is whatever is genuinely present.

What If You Are Concerned About What Might Come Up?

You can say:

“I am okay working on this memory, but I am nervous about what else might come up.”

During reprocessing, associations can sometimes shift to other memories, thoughts, emotions, or sensations.

You cannot predict every association in advance.

But you can discuss beforehand what you will do if something unexpected emerges, including slowing down, pausing, or returning to grounding.

What If You Do Not Want to Talk About Every Detail?

You can say:

“I want to work on this experience, but I do not want to describe all of it out loud.”

EMDR does not generally require a detailed verbal retelling of the entire event.

The target can often be identified with much less detail than would be needed for a full narrative account.

If this matters to you, asking how much disclosure is actually needed can make expectations clearer.

What If You Want a Different Target?

You can say:

“I know we planned to work on this memory, but I would rather start somewhere else today.”

or:

“This target feels too much right now. Can we choose something more manageable?”

Target selection is part of EMDR treatment planning and does not have to be completely fixed.

The question is not whether you can force yourself through the planned target.

It is whether the target and timing make sense for the work you are doing.

What If You Want to Go More Slowly?

Say so.

You might say:

“I want to continue, but I would like a slower pace.”

or:

“Can we take more breaks between sets?”

or:

“I would like shorter periods of processing.”

EMDR is structured, but pacing can be individualized.

Slowing down does not mean you are doing the treatment incorrectly.

What If You Feel Different on the Day of the Session?

That is also worth mentioning.

For example:

“I thought I was ready for this target, but today I feel more distracted than usual.”

or:

“I have had a difficult week and I am not sure I want to do intensive processing today.”

or:

“I still want to have the session, but I would prefer to focus on preparation today.”

Readiness can vary from one day to another.

A change in plans does not necessarily mean changing the overall treatment.

What If You Are Concerned About What Happens Afterward?

You can ask:

“What might I notice after the session?”

or:

“What should I do if I keep thinking about the memory afterward?”

or:

“Should I leave some time free after processing?”

EMDR clinicians recommend discussing expectations between sessions, including regulation strategies and what to do with observations that emerge after processing.

Can You Write Your Concerns Down Instead?

Yes.

If speaking spontaneously is difficult, you can bring:

• A few bullet points
• A note on your phone
• A notebook
• A short list of questions

You might write:

• Worried about staying present
• Do not want to start with hardest memory
• Want to know how to pause
• Unsure about eye movements
• Want more preparation

You do not need to turn your concerns into a polished explanation.

Do You Have to Explain Why You Want to Pause?

No.

You can simply say:

“I want to pause.”

You can explain more if you want to, but you do not have to justify the request before stopping.

EMDR guidance specifically includes having a way to signal that processing should pause.

What If You Are Concerned About Disappointing the Therapist?

Your job is not to produce a particular reaction or follow a predetermined timetable.

If you do not feel ready, do not understand something, want a different target, or need to slow down, that information is directly relevant to the process.

A useful statement might be:

“I know we planned to start processing, but I want to tell you that I do not feel ready today.”

Clear information is more useful than pretending everything feels fine. If concerns about self-esteem make it difficult to express your preferences, you can mention that hesitation too.

What If Your Concern Seems Small?

You can still mention it.

For example:

“I know this sounds minor, but I am worried that the tapping will distract me.”

or:

“I keep thinking about whether I will know what to say between sets.”

Small concerns can often be clarified quickly.

You do not have to wait for something to become a major problem before discussing it.

How Can You Bring Up Several Concerns at Once?

Keep it simple.

You might say:

“I have three things I want to check before we start: I am unsure about the target, I want to know how to pause, and I am nervous about what happens afterward.”

Then take them one at a time.

You do not need to explain everything in one uninterrupted statement.

What About Online EMDR?

The same communication principles apply to therapist-guided online EMDR.

You can raise concerns about:

• Privacy
• Technology
• Bilateral stimulation
• Headphones
• Interruptions
• Staying focused at home
• What happens if the connection drops
• How you signal that you want to pause

Clear communication can be especially useful online because some practical parts of the session work differently from in-person EMDR.

What About Self-Guided EMDR?

With Virtual EMDR, there is no live therapist to explain concerns to during the session because the program is self-guided. Users manage their own pacing, pauses, and available visual or audio bilateral stimulation settings.

In that format, the same basic questions can become a self-check before you begin:

• Do I feel willing to work on this target today?
• Can I stay focused on the process?
• Do I want to choose a different target?
• Do the bilateral stimulation settings feel workable?
• Do I need to slow down?
• Do I want to pause?
• Would another time be better for this session?

The project standards make an important distinction: deciding that a particular moment is not the best time for self-guided processing is different from saying that EMDR itself is unsafe.

Conclusion

You do not need a polished explanation of your concerns before an EMDR session.

Simple statements are enough:

“I am nervous about this target.”

“I am not sure I feel ready.”

“I want to go more slowly.”

“I am worried about staying present.”

“I would like to try a different type of bilateral stimulation.”

“I need to pause.”

EMDR preparation and treatment planning are designed to include discussion of readiness, pacing, targets, regulation strategies, and client preferences.

The simplest rule is:

You do not have to explain your concern perfectly. You only need to say enough for the concern to become part of the process.