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What Are Signs You Should Slow Down EMDR?
Short Answer: You may want to slow down Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) if a session feels more emotionally intense than you want, you are having trouble staying focused, you find yourself rushing through the process, or you simply feel that you have done enough for the day. Slowing down does not mean EMDR is going badly. It can be as simple as taking a break, shortening the session, choosing something easier to work on, or giving yourself more time before your next session.
Key Takeaways
- EMDR does not need to feel highly intense to be useful.
- Difficulty concentrating can be a simple sign that it is time for a break.
- You do not need to keep working on a memory that feels like too much for that particular session.
- Doing longer or more frequent sessions does not automatically mean faster progress.
- With self-guided EMDR, you can pause, shorten a session, change what you are working on, or come back another day.
- Slowing down is an adjustment to your pace, not a sign that something has gone wrong.
What Does “Slowing Down” EMDR Mean?
Slowing down EMDR does not necessarily mean stopping EMDR altogether.
It simply means adjusting the pace when the pace you are using does not feel right for you.
That could mean:
- Taking a short break during a session
- Doing a shorter session
- Waiting longer before your next session
- Choosing a less difficult memory or issue
- Spending more time getting comfortable with the process
- Ending a session when you feel you have done enough
EMDR, whether done in a therapist's office, online with a therapist, or through a self-guided format, does not need to follow exactly the same pace for every person.
Sign #1: The Session Feels More Intense Than You Want
EMDR involves briefly focusing on a memory, thought, feeling, or other concern while using bilateral stimulation, such as guided eye movements, alternating sounds, or tapping.
Because you are thinking about something that bothers you, some emotion can naturally come up.
But you do not need to make the experience as emotional as possible.
If you notice yourself thinking, “This is more than I want to work with right now,” that can be enough reason to slow down.
You might pause for a while, choose a different focus, or decide that you have done enough for that day.
The goal is not to push yourself through the strongest possible reaction.
Sign #2: You're Having Trouble Staying Focused
EMDR requires enough attention to follow the exercise and notice what comes to mind.
Sometimes concentration simply starts to fade.
You may notice that:
- Your mind keeps wandering away from the exercise.
- You are having trouble following the bilateral stimulation.
- You keep forgetting what you were focusing on.
- You are becoming impatient and just want to finish.
That does not have to mean anything serious.
It may simply mean that your attention has run its course for the moment.
Taking a break or ending the session can make more sense than continuing when you are no longer really engaged with the exercise.
Sign #3: You're Rushing Through the Session
There can be a temptation to treat EMDR like something you need to complete as quickly as possible.
You may find yourself clicking through steps quickly, shortening pauses, or thinking mainly about getting to the end.
If that happens, slowing down may help.
EMDR is a process, not a race.
The pauses and check-ins are part of the process because they give you an opportunity to notice what is happening before continuing.
Finishing faster does not automatically mean making faster progress.
Sign #4: You're Trying to Do More Because You Want Faster Results
Wanting to feel better quickly is understandable.
But doing more EMDR does not necessarily mean getting results more quickly.
For example, you might be tempted to:
- Make every session as long as possible.
- Have another session immediately because the first one felt useful.
- Work on several difficult memories at once.
- Schedule sessions more frequently simply because you want to speed things up.
More is not automatically better.
If you notice yourself increasing the amount of EMDR mainly because you are trying to accelerate the process, it may be worth returning to a pace that feels more natural and manageable.
Sign #5: You Keep Choosing the Most Difficult Thing You Can Think Of
You do not have to begin every session by choosing the hardest memory or most emotional subject available.
Sometimes a more manageable focus makes sense.
You may decide to work on:
- A less upsetting memory
- A recent situation that is bothering you
- A negative thought or belief
- A smaller part of a larger experience
With self-guided EMDR, you choose what you want to work on.
If you repeatedly select subjects that feel like more than you want to address, changing the focus can be another way of slowing down.
You can return to a more difficult subject when you choose.
If you are working through grief, you may prefer to choose a memory or experience that feels manageable rather than starting with the most emotionally difficult moment.
Sign #6: You Feel Like You Have to Finish Once You've Started
Starting an EMDR session does not create an obligation to finish everything you planned.
You can change your mind.
You can return another day.
This is particularly relevant with self-guided EMDR because you are managing the pace yourself.
Stopping because you have had enough for the day is not the same as failing to complete the process.
Sometimes it is simply the most sensible stopping point for that session.
Sign #7: You're Not Giving Yourself Enough Time Between Sessions
People vary in how often they prefer to do EMDR.
There is no need to fit as many sessions as possible into a short period just because you have the ability to do so.
If you find yourself starting another session before you really want one, you can wait.
You may prefer a regular schedule, or you may prefer to decide based on how you feel and what fits into your day.
With a self-guided format, having access to EMDR whenever you want it does not mean you need to use it constantly.
Flexibility includes the option to wait.
Slowing Down Does Not Mean Something Is Wrong
This distinction is important.
Needing a break does not mean EMDR is unsafe.
Wanting a shorter session does not mean you cannot do EMDR.
Deciding not to work on a particular memory today does not mean you will never be able to work on it.
And taking more time between sessions does not mean you are making poor progress.
These are simply ways of adjusting the process to fit you.
People respond differently, and your preferred pace may also change from one session to another.
How Can You Slow Down?
Slowing down can be very simple.
Take a Break
Pause the exercise for a while rather than automatically continuing.
Shorten the Session
If you find that your attention starts fading after a certain amount of time, you may prefer shorter sessions.
Change What You're Working On
You can choose something that feels easier to focus on that day.
Wait Until Another Day
You do not have to start a session just because you planned one.
Leave More Time Between Sessions
If your current schedule feels rushed, spread the sessions out more.
Stop When You've Had Enough
You do not need to continue simply to reach a particular amount of time.
Slowing Down With Virtual EMDR
Virtual EMDR is a structured, self-guided online EMDR program, so you manage the timing and pacing yourself.
That gives you flexibility to adjust a session as you go.
You can pause when you want, decide how long you want to continue, and choose when you want to return for another session.
If something feels like more than you want to work on that day, you can also choose a different focus.
The ability to control the pace is useful because EMDR does not need to happen according to one fixed schedule.
How Do You Know When You're Ready to Continue?
You do not need to wait for a special feeling or reach a particular milestone before continuing.
You may simply notice that:
- You feel ready to focus again.
- You want to return to the exercise.
- The subject you chose feels manageable.
- You have enough time to do the session without rushing.
- You feel comfortable continuing.
You can then decide whether you want to return to the same focus or work on something different.
The decision can be practical rather than complicated.
Conclusion
The main signs that you may want to slow down EMDR are practical ones: the session feels more intense than you want, your concentration is fading, you are rushing, you are trying to do more simply to get faster results, or you feel that you have done enough for the day.
None of these automatically means there is a problem with EMDR.
Slowing down can simply mean taking a break, shortening a session, choosing something easier to work on, leaving more time between sessions, or returning another day.
With Virtual EMDR and other self-guided approaches, you control the pace. You do not need to push through a session or do as much EMDR as possible. You can adjust the process based on what feels manageable and useful for you.
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