What Happens During EMDR Desensitization?
Short Answer: Desensitization is the fourth phase of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and is one of the main processing parts of the approach. You briefly focus on a target memory or something connected with it while using bilateral stimulation, such as guided eye movements, alternating sounds, or tapping. After each set of bilateral stimulation, you pause and notice what comes to mind. This process is repeated, allowing thoughts, feelings, images, memories, or physical sensations to shift naturally. Over time, the original target may begin to feel less emotionally charged or distressing.
Key Takeaways
- Desensitization is Phase 4 of the standard eight-phase EMDR process.
- It comes after you have identified the target and assessed the thoughts, feelings, and reactions connected with it.
- You briefly focus on the target while using bilateral stimulation.
- Between sets, you pause and notice what comes up rather than trying to force a particular response.
- Thoughts, images, emotions, memories, and physical sensations may change as processing continues.
- The target may gradually feel less distressing, but there is no single reaction everyone is supposed to have.
- The same basic process can be used in therapist-guided or structured self-guided EMDR.
Where Does Desensitization Fit Into EMDR?
EMDR is commonly described as an eight-phase process:
- History Taking and Treatment Planning
- Preparation
- Assessment
- Desensitization
- Installation
- Body Scan
- Closure
- Reevaluation
Desensitization is Phase 4.
By this point, you have already chosen a target and identified some of the thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations associated with it.
The desensitization phase is where you begin repeatedly pairing attention to the target with bilateral stimulation.
What Happens at the Beginning of Desensitization?
You begin with the target that was identified during the earlier assessment phase.
This may be a particular memory or another specific focus.
You may briefly bring to mind:
- An image connected with the memory
- A negative thought or belief associated with it
- An emotion you notice
- A physical sensation connected with the experience
You do not need to hold every detail in your mind perfectly.
The target simply provides a starting point for the processing.
Then Bilateral Stimulation Begins
While briefly focusing on the target, you use bilateral stimulation.
This may involve:
- Following a visual cue from side to side
- Listening to sounds that alternate between the left and right sides
- Alternating tapping
The bilateral stimulation usually happens in sets.
Rather than continuously focusing on the target for the entire session, you alternate between periods of bilateral stimulation and brief pauses.
This repeated pattern is a central part of EMDR processing.
What Happens Between Sets?
After a set of bilateral stimulation, you pause and notice what is there.
You might notice:
- A thought
- An image
- Another memory
- An emotion
- A physical sensation
- A change in how the original memory feels
- Nothing particularly different
There is no single correct response.
You do not need to search for something meaningful or decide what you are supposed to experience.
You simply notice what is present and use that as the next starting point.
You Don't Have to Force the Process
One of the most important things to understand about desensitization is that you are not trying to consciously rewrite the memory.
You do not have to figure out the perfect thought.
You do not need to analyze why everything happened.
And you do not need to deliberately make yourself feel differently.
Instead, you notice what comes up as the sets continue.
For example, you might begin thinking about one particular moment and then remember something else.
A thought may change.
An emotion may become less noticeable.
A different part of the memory may suddenly seem more important.
Or very little may seem to change during a particular set.
These can all be part of the process.
Can Other Memories Come Up?
Yes.
Sometimes one memory brings another memory to mind.
The connection may be obvious. Perhaps both experiences involved the same person or a similar situation.
Other times, the connection may not be immediately clear.
You do not necessarily need to stop and analyze why another memory appeared.
You can notice it and continue with the process.
A related memory that continues to bother you may also become something you choose to work on in another session.
Can Thoughts Change During Desensitization?
They can.
A memory may initially be connected with a thought such as:
“It was my fault.”
As processing continues, you may begin to see the situation differently.
Perhaps another thought comes up naturally, such as:
“I did what I could at the time.”
The purpose of desensitization is not to force yourself to replace one thought with another.
Changes in perspective may simply emerge as the memory is processed.
The next EMDR phase, installation, focuses more specifically on strengthening a preferred positive belief.
Can Feelings Change During Desensitization?
Yes.
A memory that initially brings up sadness, anger, embarrassment, anxiety, or another feeling may begin to feel different as the session continues.
The feeling may become less noticeable.
It may change into another emotion.
Or you may notice that you can think about the memory with more distance than before.
Not everyone notices a dramatic change during every session.
Sometimes the shift is fairly subtle.
What About Physical Sensations?
People sometimes notice physical sensations when thinking about an upsetting memory.
For example, you might notice tension somewhere in your body or another physical feeling associated with the memory.
These sensations can also change during processing.
You do not need to deliberately make them disappear.
As with thoughts and emotions, the basic approach is to notice what is happening rather than trying to manufacture a particular response.
What Does “Desensitization” Actually Mean?
The word desensitization can sound more complicated than the process itself.
In EMDR, it generally refers to reducing the distress connected with the target.
The goal is not to erase the memory.
You can still remember what happened.
The difference is that the memory may eventually carry less emotional intensity when you think about it.
Something that once felt very immediate or upsetting may begin to feel more like an event that happened in the past.
How Do You Know Whether the Distress Is Changing?
EMDR commonly uses a simple rating to track how distressing the target feels.
You may be asked to rate the distress from 0 to 10, where:
- 0 means no distress
- 10 represents the highest level of distress you can imagine for that target
The formal name for this is the Subjective Units of Disturbance (SUD) scale.
The rating gives you a simple way to notice whether your reaction to the target is changing.
It is not a test and there is no need to produce a particular number.
Does the Distress Always Drop Steadily?
Not necessarily.
The process does not always move in a straight line.
For example, your rating might decrease, stay about the same for a while, or change as different parts of the memory come to mind.
A related thought or memory might temporarily become the main focus.
What matters is not whether every individual set produces a lower number.
The rating is simply one way of keeping track of your experience as processing continues.
What If Nothing Seems to Happen?
Sometimes a set of bilateral stimulation may not produce an obvious change.
You might simply notice the same memory, thought, or feeling.
That does not mean you have performed the exercise incorrectly.
You can notice what is there and continue.
People respond differently, and not every set needs to produce a noticeable new thought, image, or feeling.
Do You Have to Describe Everything That Comes Up?
No.
In therapist-guided EMDR, the therapist may ask what you noticed after a set, but you generally do not need to give a detailed account of everything that came to mind.
A brief description may be enough to guide what happens next.
This is one way EMDR differs from forms of therapy that rely heavily on talking through an experience in detail.
With self-guided EMDR, you can simply notice your own response and continue through the structured process.
How Long Does Desensitization Take?
There is no fixed number of bilateral stimulation sets that applies to every target.
Some memories may shift relatively quickly.
Others may take longer or may be worked on across more than one session.
You do not have to finish processing every target in a single session.
If you decide to stop for the day, the EMDR process includes a closure phase before you finish.
You can return to the target in another session.
What Happens When the Target Feels Less Distressing?
As the distress associated with the target decreases, EMDR moves toward the next phase: installation.
During installation, the focus shifts toward a positive belief you would prefer to associate with yourself and the experience.
For example, instead of a belief such as:
“I'm powerless,”
you might want a belief such as:
“I can handle things now.”
Desensitization and installation are related, but they have different purposes.
Desensitization focuses on reducing the distress associated with the target, while installation focuses more directly on strengthening a preferred positive belief.
Desensitization in Self-Guided EMDR
In self-guided EMDR, the basic pattern is similar:
- Bring the target or what is currently coming up to mind.
- Complete a set of bilateral stimulation.
- Pause and notice what you experience.
- Continue with what comes up next.
- Periodically notice how the original target feels.
Because you are guiding yourself, you manage your own pacing.
You can pause, take a break, or end the session when you choose.
You do not need to force yourself to reach a particular distress rating before stopping for the day.
How Desensitization Works With Virtual EMDR
Virtual EMDR is a structured, self-guided online EMDR program.
During the processing portion of the program, you work with your chosen focus while using bilateral stimulation and checking in with what comes up between sets.
Because the program is self-guided, you manage the pacing yourself and can adjust available bilateral stimulation settings, pause, or stop when you choose.
The purpose is not to make something happen on command. You follow the structured process, notice your responses, and allow the target to change at its own pace.
Conclusion
Desensitization is one of the main processing phases of EMDR.
You begin with a chosen target, use bilateral stimulation, pause to notice what comes up, and repeat the process.
Thoughts, memories, emotions, images, and physical sensations may shift along the way. Sometimes the changes are noticeable, and sometimes they are subtle.
You do not need to force the memory to change or produce a particular response. The purpose is to follow the process and notice what happens as the target is processed.
Whether EMDR is therapist-guided or used through a structured self-guided program such as Virtual EMDR, the basic pattern remains similar: focus, bilateral stimulation, pause, notice, and continue with what comes up next.
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