What If the Target Memory Changes During EMDR?

What If the Target Memory Changes During EMDR?

Short Answer: If the memory you started with changes during Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), that does not necessarily mean you have lost focus or are doing anything wrong. Another memory, image, thought, feeling, or detail may come to mind as the session continues. You can notice what has come up and allow the session to develop naturally rather than trying to force yourself back to the exact memory you started with.

Key Takeaways

• The memory you begin an EMDR session with does not always remain the only focus.
• Related memories, thoughts, feelings, images, or details may come to mind during the session.
• You do not necessarily need to force your attention back to the original memory every time something else appears.
• A memory becoming less vivid or emotionally noticeable can also be part of how a session changes.
• With self-guided EMDR, you can pause and decide whether to continue with what has come up or return to your original focus.
• A changing target does not automatically mean you are doing EMDR incorrectly.

What Is a Target Memory in EMDR?

In EMDR, the "target" is the memory, experience, thought, image, feeling, or other focus you choose to work on during a session.

For example, you might begin with a particular embarrassing experience from school, a difficult breakup, an upsetting conversation, or another memory that still bothers you.

That gives you a starting point.

But the starting point does not necessarily have to remain exactly the same throughout the entire session.

As you continue with bilateral stimulation, such as guided eye movements, alternating sounds, or tapping, other things may come to mind.

Why Might the Target Memory Change?

Memories are often connected to other memories, thoughts, emotions, and experiences.

You might begin by thinking about one particular event and then remember something similar that happened years earlier.

Or perhaps one small detail suddenly becomes more noticeable.

For example, you might start by focusing on an argument but later find yourself thinking more about something that was said during the argument.

You might also notice:

• Another related memory
• A different part of the same memory
• A thought about yourself
• A feeling connected with the experience
• A physical sensation
• A person connected with what happened
• A completely different image that nevertheless feels related

You do not need to immediately decide why it appeared.

You can simply notice it.

Do You Need to Go Back to the Original Memory?

Not necessarily.

If something related comes to mind naturally, you can allow yourself to notice where your attention has moved.

Trying to constantly force yourself back to the exact original image may make the session feel more complicated than it needs to be.

The original target provides a starting point. It does not mean your thoughts have to remain fixed there every second.

If your attention moves to something that seems connected, you can continue noticing it and see what comes up next.

If the new thought or memory feels unrelated and you would rather return to your original focus, you can do that too.

What If a Different Memory Suddenly Comes Up?

This can happen.

For example, you might begin working with a memory from adulthood and unexpectedly think about an earlier experience.

Or one event may remind you of another situation where you felt something similar.

That does not automatically mean the new memory is more important than the original one.

It is simply what came to mind at that point in the session.

You can notice it without feeling that you now have to completely change the purpose of your session.

If it seems relevant, you may continue with it. If you would rather stay with your original target, you can return to that instead.

This can also happen when working with memories connected to childhood trauma, where one experience may bring another related memory to mind.

What If the Memory Itself Seems to Change?

Sometimes it is not a completely different memory that appears. Instead, the way you experience the original memory may shift.

You might notice that:

• A different part of the memory stands out.
• The image seems less clear.
• One detail becomes more noticeable.
• The memory feels farther away.
• Your attention moves from the event itself to how you felt about it.
• A thought that seemed important at the beginning no longer feels as important.

You do not need to keep recreating the memory exactly as it appeared when the session began.

Simply notice what you are experiencing now.

What If the Original Memory Becomes Harder to Picture?

That does not necessarily mean anything has gone wrong.

A memory may become less vivid as the session continues, or your attention may simply have moved somewhere else.

You do not need a perfectly clear mental picture to continue.

You may still notice a feeling, thought, body sensation, or general sense of the experience even when the visual image is less distinct.

If very little seems to remain connected with the original memory, you can pause and check how you feel about it now.

What If Several Memories Come Up?

Sometimes one memory may lead to another and then another.

You do not have to work through every memory that appears.

If several things come to mind, you can notice them without turning each one into a new target.

You may decide to continue with whichever memory or feeling seems most relevant at that moment.

Or you may want to make a simple note of another memory and return to it during a future session.

There is no need to fit everything into one EMDR session.

Does a Changing Target Mean You Are Losing Focus?

No.

There is a difference between your mind wandering randomly and your attention naturally moving to another part of the experience.

If you begin thinking about an unrelated task you need to finish later, your attention may simply have wandered.

But if another memory, feeling, thought, or image comes up while you are working with the original target, it may simply be part of what you are noticing during the session.

You do not have to analyze the difference too much.

If something feels relevant, notice it. If you realize you have simply become distracted, you can gently return to the session.

Should You Start the Session Over?

Usually, no.

A change in what you are noticing does not mean you need to restart from the beginning.

You can continue from where you are.

If you decide that you would rather return to the original target, you can bring it back to mind and continue.

If the new memory or thought feels more relevant to what you are experiencing, you may choose to stay with that instead.

The goal is not to follow a perfectly straight line from beginning to end.

What If You Want to Save the New Memory for Another Session?

You can.

Just because another memory comes to mind does not mean you need to work on it immediately.

You might decide:

"I noticed this, but I would rather stay with the memory I chose today."

You can make a brief note of the new memory and return to it during another session if you want to.

This can be especially useful if several different memories appear and you would rather keep the current session simple.

How Does This Work With Self-Guided EMDR?

With self-guided EMDR, including Virtual EMDR, you decide what you want to focus on and how you want to respond when the focus changes.

If another memory or thought comes up, you can:

• Continue with what has naturally appeared
• Return to your original target
• Pause and decide what you want to work on
• Make a note of the new memory for another session
• Stop and return another time

You do not need to force the session in one particular direction.

The ability to pause and choose what you want to work with can be useful when the session develops differently from what you expected.

Do You Need to Understand Why the Memory Changed?

No.

It can be tempting to immediately ask why one memory led to another or what the connection means.

You do not necessarily need an explanation.

Sometimes the connection may seem obvious. At other times, you may not see any connection at all.

You can simply notice what came up without trying to solve or interpret it during the session.

Conclusion

The target you choose at the beginning of an EMDR session gives you a place to start, but the session does not always stay focused on exactly the same memory, image, thought, or feeling.

Another memory may appear. A different part of the original experience may stand out. The original image may become less noticeable. Your attention may shift to a feeling or thought instead.

You do not need to force the session back onto a fixed path.

EMDR, whether done with a therapist, online, or through a self-guided program such as Virtual EMDR, can involve noticing what comes up and deciding how you want to continue. If the target changes, you can follow what seems relevant, return to the original memory, make a note for another session, or pause and continue another time.