What Should You Think About During EMDR?

What Should You Think About During EMDR?

Short Answer: During EMDR, you usually begin with a specific focus, such as a memory, image, thought, feeling, or body sensation. Once bilateral stimulation begins, you do not have to keep repeating that focus or force your mind in a certain direction. Instead, notice what comes up from moment to moment. Your attention may stay with the original topic, shift to something related, wander briefly, or feel quiet for a set. There is no single thought pattern you have to produce for the session to be meaningful.

Key Takeaways

• Begin each set with a clear starting focus, such as a memory, image, thought, feeling, or body sensation
• Once bilateral stimulation begins, you do not need to keep repeating the same thought or hold the target in your mind perfectly
• Notice what comes up without trying to force, analyze, judge, or organize it while the set is happening
• Your attention may stay on the original topic, shift to something related, wander briefly, or feel quiet during a set
• Between sets, pause and notice what is present before deciding what to focus on next
• There is no single pattern of thoughts or reactions that you are required to have during EMDR

What to Focus on at the Start

At the beginning of an EMDR set, it helps to have a specific starting point. This gives your attention somewhere to begin, but it does not mean you have to keep thinking about exactly the same thing for the entire set. Your starting focus might be:

• A Memory or Image: A picture, scene, moment, or part of an experience that stands out to you.
• A Belief or Thought: A statement or idea connected with the topic, such as something you think about yourself, another person, or the situation.
• An Emotion: A feeling such as frustration, worry, sadness, anger, embarrassment, or tension.
• A Body Sensation: A physical feeling you notice, such as tightness in your chest, heaviness in your shoulders, or a knot in your stomach.

You do not need to choose the perfect starting point. A reasonable focus is enough. If another part of the experience becomes more noticeable once the set begins, you can simply notice that change rather than trying to pull your attention back to where it started.

What Should You Think About Once Bilateral Stimulation Begins?

Once the set starts, the goal is not to think harder about the memory or repeat the same words in your head. You can begin with your chosen focus and then notice what your mind does naturally while the bilateral stimulation continues.

You may continue thinking about the original memory. A different part of the same memory may come to mind. You may notice another thought, image, feeling, or physical sensation. Sometimes your attention may shift to something that seems only loosely connected at first.

You do not need to decide immediately whether what came up is important. During the set, it is usually enough to notice it and keep going through the structured process.

You Don't Have to Hold the Target in Your Mind Perfectly

A common question is whether you are supposed to keep the original memory or thought in your mind the entire time. You are not required to maintain a rigid mental grip on it.

You begin with a focus because it gives the set a direction. After that, your attention may move. If it does, that does not mean you lost the session or did something incorrectly. You can notice where your attention went and continue.

Trying too hard to hold the target in place can actually make the process feel more complicated than it needs to be. The aim is not perfect concentration. It is simply to stay engaged enough to notice what is happening as the set unfolds.

What If Your Thoughts Wander?

Your mind may wander during EMDR just as it can during reading, conversation, or any other activity that requires attention. A brief unrelated thought does not automatically mean you need to stop or restart the set.

If you notice that your attention has moved to something else, you can simply notice it. Sometimes the thought may feel connected to the topic, and other times it may simply be a passing distraction.

You do not need to force an unrelated thought away. Between sets, you can check in with what feels most noticeable and use that as your next starting point if it seems relevant.

What If Something Unexpected Comes to Mind?

It is possible for a different memory, image, thought, or feeling to come to mind during a set. That does not mean you chose the wrong topic at the beginning.

You also do not need to immediately explain why the new material appeared. EMDR is not a test of whether you can correctly interpret every thought while it is happening. If something unexpected becomes noticeable, you can observe it and see what remains present when the set ends.

What If You Keep Thinking About the Same Thing?

Sometimes your attention may stay with the same memory, thought, feeling, or body sensation across several sets. You do not need to make yourself think about something different just because nothing new has appeared.

Notice what is there and whether anything about it feels different from the previous set. If it still feels much the same, that is something you can notice too. The goal is not to continually produce new thoughts or memories. You can continue from what is actually present rather than trying to create a different response.

Do You Need to Analyze Your Thoughts During EMDR?

No. You do not need to spend the set trying to work out what each thought means or why one memory led to another.

There is a difference between noticing a thought and analyzing it. Noticing might be as simple as recognizing, “I am thinking about that conversation now,” or “I can feel tension in my shoulders.” Analyzing would mean trying to explain the connection, judge whether it makes sense, or decide what it says about you while the set is still going.

You can leave that kind of interpretation alone during the set. The structured pauses between sets give you a natural point to notice what is present without turning the session into a problem-solving exercise.

What If Nothing Comes to Mind?

Sometimes you may notice very little during a particular set. You do not need to produce a new memory, insight, image, emotion, or physical reaction for the set to be meaningful.

Your attention may simply stay on the original focus. You may notice a small change, or no obvious change at all. Different sets can feel different, even within the same session.

If very little comes to mind, pause when the set ends and notice what is present now. That may be the same memory, the same feeling, a different sensation, or simply a sense that not much changed. You can use that as your next starting point.

What Should You Notice Between Sets?

The pause between sets is a useful time to check in rather than immediately deciding what you think should happen next.

You might notice which thought or image feels most present, whether an emotion has changed, whether a body sensation feels different, or whether your attention has moved somewhere new. The check-in does not need to be long or complicated.

From there, you can continue with what feels most relevant. Sometimes that means returning to the original focus. Other times, the next set may begin with something new that came up during the previous one.

What Not to Worry About During EMDR

It can be easy to wonder whether you are thinking about the “right” thing, especially during your first few sessions. In most cases, you do not need to monitor yourself that closely.

• You do not need to keep repeating the same sentence in your mind.
• You do not need to understand why every thought or image appears.
• You do not need to have a new insight during every set.
• You do not need to force yourself back to the original memory every time your attention shifts.

A simpler approach is to begin with a clear focus, follow the bilateral stimulation, and notice what comes up. Then use the pause between sets to check in and decide where to go next.

Conclusion

During EMDR, you usually begin each set with a specific focus, but you do not have to keep thinking about that exact thing in a rigid way. Once bilateral stimulation begins, notice what comes to mind without trying to force, judge, or analyze it.

Your attention may stay on the original memory, shift to another thought or feeling, wander briefly, or feel quiet for a set. None of those responses automatically means you are doing the session incorrectly.

Between sets, pause and notice what feels most present. That gives you a natural starting point for the next set. With Virtual EMDR, structured prompts guide you through those check-ins while you remain in control of the pace and focus of the session.