KNOWLEDGE BASE

Can You Work on Less Intense Targets Before Harder Ones?

Understand how working on less intense memories first may help you approach more difficult EMDR targets at a manageable pace.


10 Nov 2026

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Close-up of hands gently kneading dough on a floured surface, symbolizing gradual preparation and a manageable approach to EMDR processing.

Starting with less intense EMDR targets can help build familiarity and confidence before approaching more difficult memories.

Can You Work on Less Intense Targets Before Harder Ones?

Short Answer: Yes. In Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), you can sometimes begin with a less emotionally intense target before working on more difficult memories. This approach may help you become familiar with the processing experience, practice managing emotional reactions, and build confidence before addressing more distressing material. However, target selection is not always based on intensity alone. The order also depends on how memories are connected, which experiences contribute to current difficulties, and your readiness for processing.

Key Takeaways

  • EMDR does not always require starting with the most distressing memory.
  • Beginning with a less intense target may help you become familiar with the processing experience.
  • Target selection considers emotional intensity, memory connections, current concerns, and treatment goals.
  • Some EMDR approaches prioritize earlier memories or experiences that contribute most strongly to current symptoms.
  • A less intense target can still bring up unexpected thoughts, emotions, or related memories.
  • The order of targets can be adjusted as processing progresses.

What Are Less Intense Targets in EMDR?

In EMDR, a target is a specific memory, experience, thought, or situation selected as the focus of processing.

Targets may involve past experiences that continue to affect how you feel, think, or respond to situations in the present.

A less intense target is one that currently produces a lower level of emotional distress compared with other memories you might want to address.

For example, someone may identify several experiences involving criticism:

  • A mildly embarrassing conversation with a coworker.
  • A difficult disagreement with a close friend.
  • An earlier experience of repeated criticism that continues to affect their self-confidence.

The first experience might feel less upsetting than the others when recalled.

However, emotional intensity is personal. Two experiences that appear similar may produce very different reactions for different people.

A less intense memory is not necessarily less important. It may still contribute to negative beliefs, emotional patterns, or present-day difficulties.

Experiences that affect a person's self-esteem may vary in emotional intensity, even when they share similar themes of criticism or rejection.

Why Might You Start With a Less Intense Target?

Beginning with a less distressing memory may be useful when you are becoming familiar with EMDR or developing confidence in your ability to participate in processing.

To Become Familiar With the Processing Experience

EMDR involves bringing a selected target to mind while using bilateral stimulation, such as alternating eye movements, sounds, or tapping.

During processing, you notice changes in thoughts, emotions, memories, and physical sensations.

Working with a less intense target may help you become more familiar with this sequence before addressing material that feels more emotionally demanding.

To Build Confidence in Managing Emotional Reactions

Processing a manageable target can provide an opportunity to notice how emotional responses change and how you respond to them.

For example, you may become more familiar with pausing, noticing physical sensations, and returning attention to the present moment.

This experience may help you feel more prepared for later targets, although there is no guarantee that processing one memory will make every subsequent memory easier.

To Explore How You Respond to EMDR

People differ in how they experience memory processing.

Some notice changes in emotional intensity. Others become aware of different thoughts, images, or connections between experiences.

Starting with a less intense target may provide an opportunity to observe your individual response before deciding how to approach other memories.

To Make the Beginning of Processing More Manageable

If several memories are available for processing, beginning with one that feels manageable may be a reasonable choice.

This can be particularly relevant when you are transitioning from preparation exercises into direct memory processing.

However, choosing the least distressing memory is not automatically the best approach for everyone.

Does EMDR Usually Start With the Least Distressing Memory?

Not necessarily.

EMDR treatment planning considers several factors when determining which memory to process first.

Some approaches prioritize an earlier experience believed to contribute to current difficulties. Others focus on a memory associated with a particularly disruptive present-day symptom.

In certain circumstances, a less intense target may be selected first to support a gradual approach.

For example, if several memories are connected by a recurring belief such as "I am not good enough," the first target might be selected based on when that belief developed rather than which memory currently feels least upsetting.

This means EMDR does not follow a universal rule of working from the easiest memory to the hardest.

The sequence is intended to address meaningful experiences while considering the person's current needs and capacity for processing.

How Can You Compare the Intensity of Different Targets?

One common method used in EMDR is the Subjective Units of Disturbance (SUD) scale.

This scale measures how distressing a memory feels in the present moment when you bring it to mind.

The rating ranges from 0 to 10:

Rating Meaning
0 No current disturbance
1–3 Lower levels of disturbance
4–6 Moderate levels of disturbance
7–9 Higher levels of disturbance
10 The highest disturbance imaginable

The descriptive groupings are illustrative, not official clinical categories.

For example, you might rate one memory as 3 and another as 8.

This difference can help you understand which memory currently feels more emotionally demanding.

However, the number alone does not determine which target should come first.

Other important considerations include:

  • How the memory relates to your current concerns.
  • Whether it is connected to earlier experiences.
  • How prepared you feel to engage with it.
  • Whether another memory appears to contribute more directly to your difficulties.
  • How previous processing sessions have progressed.

Disturbance ratings can also change over time. A memory that initially feels relatively mild may become more emotionally significant as you recognize connections to other experiences.

Can Processing a Less Intense Target Help With Harder Memories?

It may help in several ways.

Processing a less intense target can give you experience with the EMDR process and may increase your confidence in approaching other material.

It is also possible for processing one memory to influence how you view related experiences.

For example, several memories may share a negative belief such as "I always fail."

Working through one relevant experience may lead to changes in how you understand that belief or interpret other events.

EMDR recognizes that memories can be connected through shared emotions, meanings, and experiences.

However, this does not mean that processing a less intense target will automatically resolve more distressing memories.

Some targets may still require separate attention.

The relationship between memories matters more than simply completing them in order of emotional intensity.

How Do You Choose a Less Intense Target to Work On First?

Choosing an initial target involves more than identifying the memory with the lowest disturbance rating.

A useful starting point is to consider which experiences are relevant to your goals and how they connect to the difficulties you want to address.

Identify the Experiences You Want to Address

Think about memories or situations that continue to influence your emotions, beliefs, or responses.

For example, if your goal involves becoming more comfortable speaking in groups, you might identify several memories of embarrassment, criticism, or feeling overlooked.

Notice Their Current Emotional Intensity

Consider how distressing each memory feels when briefly brought to mind.

You can use a simple 0–10 disturbance rating to compare the experiences without examining every detail.

Look for Connections Between Memories

Ask whether the experiences share similar emotions or beliefs.

For example, two different situations may both involve feeling rejected or believing that your opinions do not matter.

These connections can help you understand why certain memories may be relevant to your larger goals.

Consider Your Readiness

Think about how familiar you are with grounding techniques, how manageable your emotional responses feel, and whether you have enough time and attention for processing.

If you are still becoming familiar with these skills, additional preparation may be more useful than selecting a new target immediately.

Review the Purpose of Starting With That Memory

A less intense target should have a meaningful reason for being included.

It might help you become familiar with processing or address a smaller experience related to a broader concern.

Choosing a memory solely because it produces little emotion may not be useful if it has no clear relationship to what you want to work on.

What If a Less Intense Target Becomes More Emotional During Processing?

A memory's initial disturbance rating does not always predict everything that will arise during processing.

As you focus on a target, you may notice additional feelings, thoughts, physical sensations, or memories.

For example, a relatively minor disagreement might remind you of an earlier experience involving similar emotions.

This does not necessarily mean that the original target was selected incorrectly.

EMDR processing can involve associations between experiences, and the emotional meaning of a memory may become clearer as processing continues.

If your response becomes difficult to manage, you can pause, use a familiar grounding technique, or return to preparation before deciding how to continue.

In therapist-guided EMDR, the therapist helps assess these changes and determine the next appropriate step.

When Might It Make More Sense to Work on a Harder Target First?

Starting with a less intense memory is one option, but there are circumstances in which a more distressing target may take priority.

For example, a particular memory may be closely connected to a current problem that significantly affects your daily life.

An earlier experience may also be central to several related memories.

In such cases, the target that appears more emotionally demanding may have greater relevance to the overall treatment plan.

The decision is not simply about choosing between an easy memory and a hard memory.

It involves considering which experience is most important to address, how it connects to other memories, and whether you are prepared to engage with it.

Can You Use This Approach With Self-Guided EMDR?

Yes. People using self-guided EMDR may also consider the intensity of different targets when planning their sessions.

In a self-guided format, you make decisions about pacing, selecting a focus, taking breaks, and returning to preparation exercises.

For example, someone using an online program such as Virtual EMDR may decide to begin with a manageable memory while becoming familiar with the processing experience.

It can be helpful to consider your current emotional response, the relevance of the target, and how prepared you feel before beginning.

However, self-guided target selection does not involve a therapist evaluating memory connections or adjusting the treatment plan in real time.

If you are uncertain which memory should come first, particularly when several experiences are closely connected, an EMDR-trained therapist can help you understand the options.

Working independently does not require following a rigid sequence from least intense to most intense.

The priority is selecting a meaningful target and approaching the process at a pace that fits your needs.

How Do You Know When to Move Toward a More Difficult Target?

There is no single sign that determines when you should move from a less intense target to a more challenging one.

Instead, consider how processing has progressed and whether you feel prepared to address another experience.

Questions that may be helpful include:

  • Have I completed or appropriately reviewed the current target?
  • Can I recognize and respond to changes in my emotional state?
  • Are my grounding techniques familiar and useful?
  • Do I understand why the next memory is relevant?
  • Do I feel prepared to focus on a more emotionally demanding experience?
  • Would additional preparation be useful before continuing?

These are reflection questions rather than a formal readiness test.

A lower disturbance rating for one memory does not automatically mean you are ready to process every other target.

Similarly, you do not need to feel completely free of uncomfortable emotions before considering another memory.

The timing depends on your progress, preparation, and overall processing goals.

Conclusion

You can work on less intense targets before harder ones in EMDR, and this approach may help you become more familiar with processing, develop confidence, and approach emotionally demanding memories gradually.

However, the most appropriate target order is not determined by emotional intensity alone.

Memory connections, current difficulties, treatment goals, and readiness all play important roles in deciding what to process first.

The goal is not to complete memories from easiest to hardest as quickly as possible. It is to choose meaningful targets and follow a thoughtful sequence that supports the overall EMDR process.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do You Have to Start With the Hardest Memory in EMDR? +
No. EMDR does not universally require beginning with the hardest memory. Target selection depends on the treatment plan, memory connections, current concerns, and readiness for processing. A less intense memory may be an appropriate starting point in some circumstances.
Can You Start With a Small Everyday Experience? +
Yes, if the experience is relevant to your goals and appropriate for processing. Everyday experiences involving embarrassment, criticism, or disappointment may be meaningful targets when they contribute to ongoing emotional patterns.
Will Processing Easier Memories Make Harder Ones Less Distressing? +
Sometimes processing one memory can affect how related experiences feel or how you understand them. However, this is not guaranteed. More distressing memories may still require separate processing.
Should You Always Work From the Lowest Disturbance Rating to the Highest? +
No. Disturbance ratings provide useful information, but they are not the only basis for sequencing targets. The timing of an experience, its connection to current difficulties, and its relationship to other memories may also influence the order.
Can You Change Targets During EMDR? +
Yes. Treatment plans can be adjusted when new information or related memories emerge. In therapist-guided EMDR, these decisions are made collaboratively. If a target is unfinished, it is important to consider how to close and review that work rather than simply switching memories without a plan.
Is Starting With a Less Intense Target the Same as Resourcing? +
No. Resourcing focuses on developing grounding, calming, and emotional regulation skills. Processing a less intense target involves directly working with a selected memory through EMDR. Both can contribute to a manageable pace, but they serve different purposes.
What If You Are Not Ready for a More Difficult Memory? +
You can spend additional time preparing, reviewing previous work, or practicing familiar grounding techniques. The next target does not have to be selected according to a fixed timetable.

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